What Type Of Family Do You Want?

Diversity in Adoption

When one considers all the choices that have been stripped away from children who are awaiting a family in foster care, we realize how monumental the question “what type of family do you want?” is. Up until that question, children are often not provided much choice in the matter. They are removed from their families of origin through no fault of their own, and are placed into a foster home, some, a multitude of homes, having no say in the matter.

            For children awaiting a family, they have likely already been in foster care for several years, and any viable path to reunifying with their family of origin has been exhausted and is no longer an option. They are now “legally free” after parental rights have been terminated. So, when they are asked the question, “what type of family do you want?” after never even making the choice to be in foster care, the answer can be vague and sometimes they don’t feel that the option exists for them to say “I want a family who looks like me.”

            I recently met with a supervisory team in Alexandria, VA, and we discussed ways to partner in finding families for children who are waiting in foster care. As we discussed strategy, our conversation soon drifted off into speaking about a very specific child. This 11yo girl since coming into care, had been placed in multiple homes and was growing wary of the prospect of adoption. She is African American, and has lived in a variety of multiracial foster homes. However, where she felt most comfortable was in homes where the parent(s) and/or children looked like her. When living with black families, or with other black children, she saw herself reflected, understood unspoken words and cues, was able to laugh at subtle cultural nuances and experienced a sense of belonging. While she remained open to families of different races, she noted that where she felt most comfortable was within a black family.

            This should be a simple enough request to be able to offer to a child who has lost everything of value to her, right? Yet, in adoption, it is more complex. Foster and adoption agencies often do not have enough black families, or families of color waiting to honor this request. As such, black children are often placed into non-black homes as there are more black children who are awaiting placement than there are black families seeking to adopt. While transracial adoption can be a good fit for some children, it is not the right fit for all children, so we as adoption workers need to find ways to raise awareness of the need for more black families and families of color in our programs.

            There are over 100,000 waiting children, so we certainly need families from all communities to join our adoption programs, but during black history month we want to place special emphasis on reaching black families who are wanting to learn more about children waiting for a family. Please reach out to our staff to learn more about the adoption process and to see if you might be the family that a waiting child has been waiting for.

Join us at our upcoming Older Child Adoption from Foster Care Information meeting! Contact us today: info@barkerfoundation.org